Daphne's Cottage

Cancer runs amuck

Please once again excuse us for being away. As we prepared to write our new funny blog: on the same day my mother had a cat scan because she though she might have IBS, and we ran home laughing. The cat scan was perfection. all  worry gone.  Now we are here 2 months later and the new cat scan shows an evil creature called cancer dancing and flicking his magic wand on my Mothers clean body and organ's. It started  in the uterus and made it's way to the cervix and made a polyp. A deadly polyp.

Taking it off, the cancer creature got mad and raged his evil all over my Mother's body. He was fast and he was swift and clever, he grew tumors that grew into tumors like a mushroom field. An emergency hysterectmy began and we removed all tumors and all female parts :by one of  the  best  female Dr.s in America, 40 min from us in Gainsville Florida. She is an oncologist, gynecologist, and surgeon. After the miserable 5 day hospital stay we left to go home to await the pathology report to see where else the ugly creature is doing or touched or if he is dead. We go today to find the results. We also await chemotherapy. I hear to many stories to know what to expect from this. My Mother is a strong woman in someways, but this is not the area where my Mom can stand up and fight.  Her fear takes over. I pray to let me have it. I could kill it.

I have never realy had female friends, they never realy liked me. I had alot of male friends. So my Mother is my best friend.

I talk to her 5 times a day and stay with her 10 nights a month with her and my Father who I am not close to at all. I say this with respect, it's just a different time now than his used to be. We are both so head strong.  I keep thinking if she does die what I willI do?  Who will call me? WHo will I call? Christmas?  Our Shopping. Our hundreds of hundreds of laughs.  I dont know if I could take it. Does it get better? Will I be filled with this horrific painful sadness forever? My Father would be forever so lonely, because he does love her deeply. My 17 year old son who is very VERY close to his Grami, all their love of things they  share in their hobbies.  They are both so alike, it's amazing. The two intellects reading away and then discussing them for hours while I fall asleep on the sofa.  You never think it will happen to you.   Find the right Dr.s..my Mom's Dr.'s just said IBS IBS IBS...with zero tests until we demanded one. Is she dies, they killed my Mother. Dr. Ripley we found is amazing and I thank God every day we found her.

When I stayed at the hospital those 5 nights I watched everything and every day mistakes were made and 1-2 deadly ones. You have to be there and question them and make sure they are doing their job right. Who cares if they get irratated IT's THEIR JOB. They have to be watched at all times. My grandmothers recovery center made TWO deadly mistakes on her. It also has happened to me as well. They gave me a deadly medicine when I was in the hospital for a   staff infection they gave me after a breast  surgery. Just be careful and I will pray for you  and please pray for Jane D Young.

Talk with you all soon.  Remember if anything weird happens never brush it aside and say oh well just a weird period, always checxk it out. Like I said,  Cancer is fast and swift. Excuse me for all the typo's. To tired to re-check

Hope

Well bad news arrived at the oncologist's office. My Mother and I went to her appt. alone because my Father and son went to the beach for his last little get away before school started. We always take 2-3 trips, but this year there was none so they went off for 4 nights. We had no idea what was to come at the Dr.'s office otherwise my father never would have left. Can you imagine having to hear over the phone that your wife has a bad cancer.  We thought ok hysterectomy, all the cancer is gone and a little chemo to clean house. In between a sentence the Dr. threw in it was not curable, her remaining cancer. After making him back track and pure shock like a knife just gutted me, he explained the cancer had spread and it's kind was not curable. There was no words of hope. Just a statistic and a matter of fact sentence. He wasn't mean, just not warm or hopeful. I don't believe in Dr.'s giving numbers or months so thank God he did'nt do that. My Mother has 18 weeks of hard chemo and they are giving her triple dose once a week so triple the side effects they said.  We have cried and talked and now we start to fight. I wish it would have been me instead. I would have scared cancer away. I pray my Mother has the fight in her. She has already lost so much weight. I spend my time cleaning her home and looking for cute things for her to wear or special chemo hats that are fashionable and not so  ugly looking. I put antique brooches on her blouse and sweaters and I am looking for unusual jewelry for her. Which is her favorite. If any have any suggestions  let me know. Its also hard to find cute clothing for a 62 year old who is so thin and wears a small.  Every day I find a spot to hide and scream. Each second  a different emotion. Shock, anger, tears, pain, screams, depression, and then I some how find hope.  I am terrified to be without her and feel lke I am going with her. She is my best friend and I just can't loose her. None of us can. Not yet.  It broke my heart when Mom told me Daddy curled up behind her and cried and asked her not to leave him.. I am going to be positive with her and continue to come up with things that make her happy and find good luck charms. I don't know what kind of religion all of you have, but please pray for her, J.D.Y. in Homosassa, Fl. Any suggestions or stories or e-mails are welcome or tips. Thank you, E

P.S. I had to leave my Mom with the nurse and  When I burst out of the Dr.'s office doubled over crying and crying,   several little plump  chemo lady angels saw me and ran out to comfort me and hold me.  I will never forget it. People change and start to live and love life  and appreciate life when they think it might be taken away. So silly to worry about the small things, just be glad to be alive..you're lucky, even if life didn't hand you what you wanted.